At last, the final installment in my management trilogy on gifts, talents and skills. Today, all I want to talk about is gifts. ‘Cause in the end, that’s the one thing that really matters.

Remember a gift is something you are stupidly amazing at without even trying. It’s something you were born with and something that comes naturally to you. What you’ll notice about gifts is that when you use or share them, you actually gain energy, you don’t lose it. You’ll have all sorts of passion for it. It kind of defies physics which is what makes it so magical. You’ll find that your day flies by when you are in a role that allows you to utilize and share your gifts. You’ll find your work, and your life, so much satisfying when you’re aware of your gift and you use it. And you’ll very likely be recognized for it. People notice when you get to do what you are best at every day. And with recognition often comes success. Seems obvious, doesn’t it?

Here’s where a lot of people get stuck though. They don’t value their gifts because they come so easy. And they often make the mistake of believing that what they do is easy for everyone because it comes easy to them. Not the case! There’s this stupid underlying assumption that only the things you work hard at are fulfilling and rewarding. That’s total bullshit too. The bottom line is that if you deny your gifts, you are denying a deep part of who you are. You might perceive someone else’s gifts as more rewarding or worthy, but that’s only because you are an idiot. You might think you’d prefer that gift because it will make you more successful. Well, that other person you are envying is probably using their gift which is what is fueling the success. It’s not the gift itself. It’s the awareness and utilization of the gift. Seems obvious, doesn’t it?

Don’t make the mistake of undervaluing your gift. Know it. Embrace it. Share it. Realize how important your unique gift is to the world.

In my last post, I shared my personal definitions of gifts, talents and skills. In this post, I want to dig deeper into these 3 wonderful things and figure out why we often get tripped up when we are trying to figure out how they are different from each other. Here’s what I think is the crux of the confusion: One person’s gift might be another person’s skill. Let’s look at a few examples.

I have a few friends who are gifted when it comes to analytics. It just comes naturally to them. It’s just how they think. They are often graphing things, trying to understand the true value of something and wondering about what the trend is over a certain period of time. My one friend, in particular, sits by a window at work where a number of trains go by every day. I told him how I love trains, how they make me feel and what they remind me of. He told me he wonders what the average number of train cars on a train is and often thinks about tracking it on a spreadsheet to better understand the pattern. Interesting … but not to me. Another guy (ahem, my father the economist), carpools with a number of oil & gas guys to work in Houston every day. He told me about how him and his 3 carpool buddies track their fuel mileage on different routes over a period of time to determine what the most economical route to work is. Bruce (my husband) nearly died. He was like, “who cares and what’s a spreadsheet?!” I was impressed that this is how they willingly spend their time. It makes sense because neither Bruce nor I are analysts or economists at heart. Another analytical friend of mine spent the last hour of his work day with me last week teaching me algebra. I was keen to learn, and he was pretty excited to share it. He was sharing a gift and I was developing a skill.

Another great example is with my colleagues who are writers. I find writers tend to be very aware of their gift. I remember my friend Tara of Versus Boredom telling me that everyone can write, but not everyone’s a writer. It’s so cut and dry with this one. Almost anyone can develop the skill to write correctly (for some it takes more work than others), but not everyone is gifted at communicating with words.

What’s the difference between a talent and a skill? This one can get a little murky. Talents are sometimes just things that we can pick up easily. Like my mom. She’s amazing at cooking. It’s easy for her and she just seems to have a way of turning an empty fridge into a gourmet meal. She’s not gifted at it though. And she never really learned it. My mom’s gift is helping people figure out what their gifts are! Then there’s someone like Leanne from Healthful Pursuit. Now that’s not talent in the kitchen, that’s a pure gift! She’s driven, passionate and totally comes to life when she talks about healthy food. And her recipes are works of art. It just comes naturally to her. It’s who she is. But, here’s where it can get confusing. Sometimes talents are clues about undiscovered gifts. When you pursue the talent, you find you had some gifts that were lying dormant waiting to be awakened. That’s why it’s so incredibly important to explore your talents. You might find a gift, or you might just find something that you can pick up easily. Either way, you’re in luck!

So here’s a few questions you can ask yourself to get a little clearer on this whole thing: Are you aware of your gifts? Do you have any talents that need some attention? And what skills would help you do your job or live your life better?  Now do something with this knowledge!

As a manager of people, I often think about what my peeps are passionate about, what they’re good at and what they can learn. My thinking on this often ends up with me trying to discern what the difference is between a gift, a talent and a skill. We managers use these words interchangeably, but I genuinely believe these are different things. And consequently, as a manager, it’s important to understand which is which in your peeps. Why? Because it determines how you help them grow.

Gifts are something you are just born with
These are things that you are inexplicably good at. Gifts come naturally. They are something you don’t even think about doing, you just do it and you do it well. Often times people marvel at your gifts because they don’t have the same gift. To them, it’s mind boggling how you can just do this thing you do with such ease.

If you have someone who is in a role where they don’t get to use or at least share their gifts, you aren’t getting the most out of them and they aren’t giving everything they’ve got. I think it’s a manager’s role to help their people discover their gifts, use them, share them and honour them. Here’s the tricky thing. People often don’t value their gifts because they come so easily to them. You have to point out that these gifts are unique to them. That what they do naturally doesn’t come naturally to their peers. And you have to balance their utilization of their gifts with the development of talents and skills, otherwise they might not grow in new and important ways doing what they do naturally every day. A little bit of discomfort and chaos is good for people – a little.

Talents are something you have a propensity for
You have a knack for it. With just a bit of coaching, teaching and training, you can pick it up with relative ease. You may not love it and you may not be the best at it, but it comes somewhat easily. And you do it well.

If you’ve got someone who is showing a propensity for something, give them little side projects to exercise untapped talents. Help them cultivate their talents by offering them ways to use them on smaller projects. Encourage them to learn more about it; see if they discover a new passion. If they find out that a talent is in fact a gift, you might want to see if their role can include this new talent or whether there is a better role for them (in or out of the organization) that will enable them to utilize this gift. I once worked with a guy who was a very talented designer. What we found through a little side project that he was incredibly gifted at product design. Within a year of discovering this gift, he changed roles and moved into the product design group. Had we not experimented a bit, we might not have tripped over this hidden gift.

Skills are something you develop with hard work, years of experience and training
These are things you’ve learned on the job or in life after having had to develop them to do your job or get through your life. They aren’t necessarily things you love doing or are astoundingly great at, but you can do it.

A lot of people don’t want to learn the skills that will in fact make their jobs easier, because that’s not what they are passionate about to begin with. For example, I’m in marketing. I need to use Excel to understand how my programs are faring – are they making money, are they not, are they meeting expectations, are they not? I don’t love Excel, I’m not super great at it, but it’s a means to an end. It helps me understand how I’m doing and ultimately do my job better. Over the years, I’ve gleaned a bit about Excel from my analyst friends who use it like it’s another function of their body. And it’s made my work better. So while your people may not enjoy the actual skill itself, it might be worth suggesting a day or two of training if you (and they) believe it will make their jobs easier or more efficient. This is not about developing a passion or a talent, this is about helping them do what they do better and faster.

Next time you are at work, stop and think about what you are doing. Is it a gift, a talent or a skill?

We often talk about “the company.” Especially when we are looking for someone to blame.

The company doesn’t know what it’s doing.
The company doesn’t get it.
The company doesn’t care.
The company needs to make a decision.

Have you ever asked yourself who the company is? Here’s an obvious realization: It’s the leaders in the business. It’s your manager, your manager’s manager, the directors, the board, the shareholders, the executive, the management team, the senior managers, the people making decisions. It’s people. It’s people with power and influence.

Next time you are tempted to blame the company, ask yourself who you are really talking about.

Background on the “Obvious realization” series: This is a series of posts dedicated to my friend Angela who thinks it’s cute that every now and then I have an “obvious realization” that totally changes my life. Here’s the other posts in this series.